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February 13th, 2008

So the edit/update has arrived almost exactly twenty-four later. Yeah, I forgot I had a Lords of Misrule rehearsal to attend.
It's almost certainly the best thing in York.
If you require proof of this bold and daring suggestion then look no further than the next lines which are soon to be appearing before your gentle lids...
We are performing a Viking Saga.
We will be speaking Old Norse.
I am playing a Viking Leader called Snorri.
He is an evil genius.
I get to fight with swords on stage.
We will be performing it in a recreated Viking house.

I SCORE WIN!
If any of your happen to be around York at the beginning of May I'm afraid I must insist that you come and see me and Katie be wicked-sick Vikings! It will beat the Guinness World Record for WOOT!

I think me and Katie and few others are off to see Juno at the cinema tonight. We've not seen anything in a while...probably not since the Golden Compass so I'm quite looking forward to it. It looks like a good one too. Then NEXT week they're showing There Wil Be Blood which I really don't want to miss. Daniel Day Lewis is amazing and 100% insane.

Work is a load of old bollocks at the moment and it's starting to really get to me. There are the immediate problems of boredom, general everyday "oh god it's work" dread and the fact that my boss is a total patoot. He's like fifteen patoots! But I'm also starting to feel the longterm grind of it now. The fact that it's not what I want to be doing, it's got nothing to do with my ambitions and it's a constant pain in the be-hind.
Therefore I've started a search for some sort of un-sales related office work. It'll be a change of scenery and it would look good on my CV for future applications to work in possible journalism environments. So, yes. That begins as soon as I get back from Aberystwyth.

I think that's everything for the moment then.
Have good times!

February 12th, 2008

Hello how are you gentlemen!!
I'm feeling a bit internet retro today..internetro you might say. I wouldn't though because it's a fucking terrible joke and shame on you for laughing. Also, shame on those of you who didn't laugh - you are bad friends.
Well, with such a warming and friendly start to a post what might you expect to read in later paragraphs. Good news or bad news? It could go either way, am I right? You're just sitting there on your tentacles, breathless with anticipation. You might have your surmises and your guesstimates but only time will tell. You better stop fart-arsing around with this nonsense and read on lest you become inextricably entangled in my convoluted high-falutin' lexicony.

It's...GOOD NEWS!
We're off to the sea-side of Aberystwyth on Friday and let me tell you I'm not a little excited. I've been like a jolly regenbogen colouring his surroundings with the spectrum of happiness. I get to go to the Ship and Castle again (yes that will almost certainly be the highlight of my visit). There will be much merriment and reacquaintance with old friends. Mr. Shell, Mr. Tide, Mrs Camera Obscura - all the favourites!
More good news is that I've finally started writing again. Even better is that probably for the first time ever I know exactly what I want from the characters, style and plot. I'm not putting any crazy ideas out here just yet but maybe I'll actually do something half decent and stick it up. If I do it won't be for a good long while yet.

I might update and add to this a bit more when I get home later.

Well, that's about it.
Have fun!
 

February 3rd, 2008

ZOMGOMFGWTFBBQ!!!!

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I just got Empire today because it had a lovely big picture of Hellboy 2 on the cover (I'm a bit of a fan and I will fight to the death anyone who says it's rubbish) and there's a bit of an update about the trilogy of Tintin films that are in production.
It's all interesting stuff - one film is being done by Peter Jackson, one by Steven Spielberg, it's done in motion capture with Andy Serkis (possibly playing Captain Haddock - RAD), they're going to be films of the two parter stories.
All well and good, right? Pretty exciting?
Well:

THEY'RE BEING SCRIPTED BY STEVEN MOFFAT!!!!!
BLISTERING BARNACLES THESE FILMS ARE GOING TO BE THE ACES OF AWESOME!!!!!!!
I AM EVEN WILLING TO SUGGEST THAT THEY WILL KICK THE ASS OF ANY OTHER FILMS EVER!!!

I'm done

January 22nd, 2008

To beard, or not to beard

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I've been thinking recently that, thus far, I've been spending my life in beard limbo.
Sure I go for long periods of time without shaving, weeks, months even, but is not shaving enough to qualify myself for a beard? If there's no purpose behind it is my facial meadow a beard or simply a sign of being a lazy bum? It's an actualisation of my lacklustre approach to grooming and as such I feel like I might be transmitting an image to people that I haven't earned: namely that I am a man with a beard, a man who chooses to be bearded, accepting his manly adulthood and taking it by the horns, smashing it repeatedly into the blubbery guts of life. Is that the image I even want? Personally, I like to see myself as a precocious and flighty young fawn, but perhaps my natural bearding prowess is getting in the way of that in people's minds, barging all their thoughts of youth out the left ear in favour of this figure of age and maybe death. But then maybe this stark truth abut life is preferable to the shiny lies conveyed by a youthful face, bringing about the desperation to recapture early days and schoolboy japes, thus bringing about the comedown into despair and reality as soon as they blink or are distracted by a duck. I don't want to remind people of their mortality, I simply want them to see a man and say "YES! THERE IS A MAN! HE IS BOTH YOUTHFUL AND WISE. NOW I MUST DEPART TO BUY BAGELS BECAUSE THEY ARE TWO FOR ONE IN SAINSBURY'S THIS WEEK!" that is, of course, if the man looking at me is a thespian. If he were otherwise the obserations would be quieter and he would be less likely to go for the bagel, perhaps favouring focaccia bread if he's a bit posh. 
The point is this: for too long now I have simply been a seldom shaver and it is now time for me to make a desicion. Now is the time for action or possibly lack of action depending on the desicion. Either way it should be intentional, purposeful and genre defying.
Should I grow a beard?
If no, would I be shunning the inner adult in me? Today's society is already too obsessed with youth and surely I would be simply adding to that nightmarish disease: nostalgia.
If yes, how big? Would Katie mind? What are the global ramifactions? Perhaps I would be keeping my face warm, therefore cutting heating costs, therefore saving the world.
Most importantly...would I look like a dick?
The decision is laid out before me, now I just walk a path and suck in the juicy morsels on the trees that line it.
This is a decision not to be taken lightly...


Anybody got a coin I can toss?

January 16th, 2008

Man, I'd be pissed off

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Why the hell isn't Jesus a saint?
There are so many crumby saints around that only got their sainthood(?) because some frog ribbited at an old woman near where he died or something. You'd think Jesus, with all his crazy ass magics, would get something.
Popes too. Do they get automatically sainted or something?
Being the representative of god on earth is pretty miraculous I'd say. I bet loads of people pray to/for/of/around the Pope. By the law of averages alone some of those prayers must come true; therefore - sainthood.

Who'd be Jesus/The Pope eh?




 

:EDIT: the word 'something' appears three times in quick succession in this post. This is grammatically poor.

January 15th, 2008

Alright?

I started reading American Tabloid by James Ellroy today. It was a birthday present from Ben way back in the heady September times when bank statements were alarming and headbutting York Uni administration was optional but desirable. I'm here to tell you it's badical, radical, wicked and sick. I was almost late for work today because I lost track of time whilst reading it. It's high on my 'I strongly recommend you read these books...are you reading them yet?' list.
Ben, you get sixteen thousand kudos points for having an excellent taste in writers.

Futurama: Bender's Big Score arrived a couple of days ago.
I am happy.
Words are inadequate.
There is a full 22 minute episode of 'Everybody Loves Hypnotoad' which is possibly the best extra on any DVD ever.It's even better than that one on The Phantom Menace where special CGI is used to remove Jar Jar Binks from all scenes, references and plot elements in any of the films and annoying little Anakin is shot dead before he can be given a chance to grow up into whiny-ass emo, 24 hour bitch and general dickhead Hayden Christensen...Oh you didn't get that one? Maybe that's because it only exists on the DVD in my mind.
It's a happy place.

I finished Zelda on the DS.
I'm going to retract a little of my enthusiasm for it after having to play the same temple six times (at least). Someone should tell the designers that there's a difference between going back to a place out of choice to find secret areas you might have missed and forcing you to re-enact exactly what you did ten minutes ago as an essential part of the gameplay.
It's not a bad game, for example the 25% of the game not spent in the Temple of the Ocean King is awesome bit it just gets so repetitive.

More aceness happened in the form of Johnny (my housemate) getting an X-Box 720 and Guitar Hero 3. I can finally feed my addiction. Next stop - the 32" HD TV the uni says we're owed. Sweet.

Motions have been set in place for me and Katie to go to Aberystwyth on the 15th Feb. The driving force behind the trip is Katie's choir are having a reunion but it seems like an ideal excuse to go and see people and have fun and frolics by the sea.
We've currently not sorted any accommodation and I'd just like to take this opportunity to be frank and, well, rude and say Bryn or Matt, do you have any room at your houses? Don't worry if not, we'll sort out a B&B. Just thought there's no harm in asking.

I think that about wraps up what I wanted to say today.

Bye!

December 29th, 2007

Christ-mast and others

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Well yesterday me and Katie got back from Shropshire where we spent Christmas with my family. It was a super awesome time and I had many of my consumerist wishes fulfilled. Trains there and back were a bit of a nuisance - on the way there the train broke down about a minute outside Wolverhampton. We sat there about forty minutes before another train came to rescue us. It was extremely annoying while we were waiting but as soon as we were on the other train the conductor was so pleased that they'd managed to line up two train doors in the dark that it was hard to be grumpy with them.
Excellent presents included a dinosaur board-game where you have to excavate the dinosaurs from a block of plaster with a chisel and a brush before you can play, Watchmen (which I've had on my computer for far too long) and Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass. I'm unconcerned with your review of it, Samuel, I'm having an ace time with it...although revisiting the Ocean King's Temple all the time is fast becoming a large pain the behind.
Then on boxing day some of my Shropshire friends came along and we played on the nintendo Wii for a bit and watched Children of Men. It's been so long since I''ve seen any of my old school friends; it seems to be the way of things these days. So yes - people who live close: come and see us in York or invite us to see you. I'm looking very meaningfully at you Alex Terrance and Matthew (in the Hatthew). Also, more seriously, I have made it a new year's resolution to get around more this year and become reacquainted with people I should never have become unacquainted with. It's right up there along with 'get out (and stay out) of overdraft' and 'go swimming more'
So yes, anyway, Christmas, all was fantastic. I ate too much, drank too much and generally had a fantabulous time. Messed about with my brother, which was awesome because, again, I don't see enough of him.
Wasted about an hour watching Doctor Who though...jeez, they're not getting better are they? "I am the Doctor. I am a timelord. I am nine hundred and floppity-flop years old. I am going to talk to you like you are all morons and as though any of this matters to the story." Augh! It was too too badly written. Still it could be worse, they could be doing another series of Torchwood. What? They're what? La-la-la-la-la-la, I can't hear you, la-la-la-la-la.

Oh, oh oh! I received the new Futurama film on DVD on Christmas eve! It's...Well I can't actually tell you because when I opened the box the flippin disc wasn't in there! So yes, I have to wait a couple of weeks for a replacement. I'm so tense I might just gesplode.

So now we're settled back in in York nicely. We've been more or less on our own in Constantine for the last week or so and it's still the case now so we've just been taking the opportunity to have some Tom and Katie time - making tasty meals, having a glass of wine and watching Grand Designs...oh, I think I just realised that I'm forty. BLAST YOU AGED MIND!
But we're off again on Monday: we're spending new year at Katie's dad's in Hereford. More fun times aboard trains to come but also fun times with relatives and relaxation; they're the main things.

So scoop-de-woop.
WHUT!

December 21st, 2007

I'm back, baby!

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Hello people who read this crap!

It has been brought to my attention by a certain hatted fellow who shall remain nameless who is called Matt that I haven't actually written anything in a very long time. You are all, no doubt, wondering whether I really exist or whether I was actually a figment of your fevered imagination. Well good news: I am an actual person and here I am writing a fine brand spanking new post for your pleasure and delight.
I notice that Katie recently had the good idea of writing a sort of review of the year...
well I'm not going to do that. Instead I'm going to carry on writing as if I've never been away, as if you all know exactly what I've been doing the whole time I've been in York.

So this guy has now decided he's going to leave us in the lurch while he has his kid and when that happens there's no way I'm getting a holiday!

Hmmm, frankly I can already start to see problems emerging.
Maybe I will fill you in a bit.

Since arriving in York me and Katie have had a fantastic time. We've quickly made a lot of new friends which by itself seems a bit of an alien experience. When we moved to Chester I think we made about six or seven friends in the entire time we were there, whereas I now can't go about an hour without seeing someone I know. It reminds me a lot of being a student. I thought most things would remind me of being a student, that I would start pining for education just as I did in Chester but it's not really happened. I definitely don't feel like a student, despite the accommodation, the people and conversation topics, but it's fine because since moving to York I haven't really wanted to feel like a student. I want to get out and into the world in a way that I had absolutely no inclination of doing during my time spent in Chester. I want to get out and into the world of english related jobs.
Sadly it hasn't really turned out the way I wanted yet.
I'm still stuck in retail.
I'm working in a fancy dress shop in the city centre of York.
"Great! Fancy dress - that sounds really fun!"
Well it might be if my boss wasn't a huge dick. Looking over my entries since September last year I find them littlered with complaints about jobs and bosses and whilst re-reading them I got bored. Therefore I'm going to refrain from going on about it and instead just say that he's lazy, officious, unprofessional and tight fisted. It's not much fun. I'm getting on with it. I'm looking for a new job in the new year.
On the plus side it has mean that I've not been losing any sleep over money recently and as jobs go the work is easy enough.
Lack of money worries has meant that me and Katie have been able to enjoy ourselves a lot more in terms of going out. We've spent more time at the pub in the last three months of living in York than we did for the whole fourteen months of living in Chester. We've been to the cinema once every other week. We even went to see Alan Bennet's 'Enjoy' at the theatre royal. I feel like we're leading a proper life again and actually engaging with the world.
Then of course there's Lords, or The Lords of Misrule - the medieval drama society that me and Katie joined. It's basically a studenty thing but they're pretty relaxed about who's involved. I got to be an old shepherd, and talk in middle english and uncover a mysterious plot involving a sheep disguised as a baby. Rad!
I'm certainly going to do it again next year. I've not done any sort of drama in about four years and it's surprising how much I've missed it. It's felt so fantastic to be able to go to rehearsals and learn lines and do all that sort of thing again.

So yes, that's my time in York so far.
I do miss Chester ever so much, despite my up and down year. I think rather than the city it's the people I miss. There's still a huge hole where Ben and Maki and TJP used to be. I miss them and it sucks that it's going to be the new year before I have a chance to see any of them again.
Our flat too was awesome. God damn I miss having a kitchen and washing machine to ourselves.
Still. York is amazing and I can't see us leaving any time soon if we can help it.

Before I depart form this rather lengthy post I'm going to lay some wicked sick facts on you:

1. I had a letter published in the Judge Dredd Megazine recently and received a free copy of a Bad Company comic collection called 'Goodbye, Krool World'. It's awesome...awesome to the max
2. Me and Katie have now been together more than two and a half years. WOWZ!
3. I got 'American Tabloid' by James Ellroy for my birthday and I still haven't read it. I am teh suck.
4. I got a box set of the Sergio Leone 'Man with No Name' spaghetti western trilogy.
5. The latest Hives album is aces. Well...it's probably not but a have a distinct soft spot for it.
6. Golden Compass = thumbs up. They didn't balls it up. Someone needs a medal...probably Phillip Pullman
7. I think I have run out of facts.
8. Oh wait! We got Christmas cards (and letters) from so many people! If you are one of those people you need some serious thanking and wishing of seasonal greetings.

In fact, seasonal greetings for all of you.

Maybe I will be a bit better at updating this bastard in future.

P.S. A fresh start with posting deserves a fresh userpic and I thought this one suitably awesome.
P.P.S. You guys reading this on Facebook now all lose out because you're stuck with a picture of me shouting.

November 10th, 2007

Fuck Yeah!

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Oh my god
This has to be the most awesome thing I have ever seen!
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