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October 5th, 2007

Factius Yorkum

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Gir
1. Between the 3rd and 4th century AD the Vatican used York as a Pope 'proving ground'. They would send the six prospective Popes into the city with naught but two papal staves and a slingshot. The first candidate to win the hearts of 40% of the citizens became Pope - the other five became demi-popes, or 'popettes'.

2. York was the first city in the world to have a street known as The Shambles. It's naming came about due it being 'a right bloody mess, and no mistake' (John Tuppington, Local Quartermaster, 1436)

3. The gates in the city walls, also called bars, are actually doors (arches).

4. There are over six buildings in York, some of them are not houses

5. Modern York is a thriving hub of industry and a grand city on the scale of Christchurch or Beeston. The local football team plays at least one game every half hour and they sometimes win at cricket. It has a population of 4,000 cats. Its main exports are grit and incredulity.

October 1st, 2007

For those of you who didn't know, it was my birthday on Friday
Hardly seems like a whole year since the last one, but it was...well, I'm pretty sure it was. If it wasn't then there's something wrong going on around here. Anyway, it doesn't really matter. The important thing is that I got presents!
Among which were:
A new watch (Hurray, I can be unreasonably obsessive about looking at the time again!)
The first three Scary Go Round collections
A rubber dinosaur that looks kind of like an ecstatic T-Rex
American Tabloid by James Ellroy
A Scott Pilgrim book (which looks like rad + awesome x (number of pages/amounts of reading) but I have yet to properly read)
Some chocolate dinosaurs
A Badtz Maru toy
Other stuff which I've currently forgotten.

It was a pretty good day considering the house was basically a stack of boxes at the time.
We went out for pizza with Ben, Maki, Helena...and Chris and ate caterpillar cake before moving on to a pub with just Ben and Maki and drinking ale and listening to 90s indie. So all in all it was a pretty ace time.

We're now in York and just about settled in. The room is really fantastich and in fact the whole house seems really nice. Friendliness and such. I'll probably stick some pictures of the place up on FaceFace if you're interested.
There's been a large amount of pub visiting and making friends with people you're never going to see again - all the joy of being a fresher...well, a hanger on to a fresher.
Matt in the Hatt came up yesterday too and there was excellent eating of sunday roast and looking at comics. Wickedy.

Hope all you guys are happy and well.
Bye!

Oh P.S. I didn't get that job in the library...again.
I AM SO HAPPY!

September 21st, 2007

Don't ask me why I was looking. I just was okay?

Actions to avoid

  • Disturbing a nest (including vibrations and loud noises)
  • Being within a few meters of a nest
  • Disturbing or killing a hornet within a few meters of a nest
  • Blocking the path of a hornet
  • Breathing on the nest or hornet
  • Rapid air movements
  • Never pour gas or petroleum down a nest hole. This is extremely hazardous and environmentally unsound.
What the hell?
You breathe on them - Dead
You go near them - Dead
You get in their way - Dead
You look in their general direction - Dead
You talk about their girlfriend behind their back - Dead

I am now officially starting a campaign to wipe out all hornets from the face of the earth.
They are clearly the most evil creatures ever to have existed.

That is all.

Oh man, P.S. it's raining a whole bunch outside right now.
Ho-lee shit, it's raining. Oh boy, you'd better stay inside. I mean it dude.
I might even start building an ark or something.

September 19th, 2007

Wow, this is a long post. Lucky for you I'm Web 2.0 enough to slap an LJ cut all over it.
 - Sucks to all the people on face-cake -

 

September 15th, 2007

I got an interview in York for a week on Monday. That's 4 days before we move.
Good news though!

Well all you silly folkes have been doing this carrer thingy what-not and for one in my life I decided that, as memes go, it's quite an eye opener...well, comparistively. It doesn't, for example, ask me what my favourite cake is. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR FAVOURITE CAKE IS!...
Ah, but that's a rant for another time.
Ok, here we go

August 30th, 2007

I would honestly like to know

Ugly, not like Betty

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Yesterday gave me more reason than usual to excrete the bile that is created in me by fashion. Not that I'm usually one to bottle these things up, on the contrary, I positively adore shouting at people in my head for wearing extremely stupid clothes. Call it a hobby. Never-the-less, even if I didn't do these perfectly sane things and remained an easy going, happy-go-lucky, live and let live type I still don't think I'd be able to contain my annoyance at yesterday's experience.
I was in the city centre for all of four hours yesterday. It was an afternoon of work but I mostly did errand running so it happened that I spent most of my time wandering round. In that space of four hours I saw five girls wearing exactly the same top. Five!
And it was hideous!
It epitomised everything that it wrong with the mass fashion industry.
It was an eighties' style wide necked t-shirt, neon green with enormous letters printed on it that said NOT UGLY LIKE BETTY.
WHAT?! Not ugly like Betty?!
Why have you written that on a t-shirt?
Why have you written that on an EIGHTIES' t-shirt?
Why have five separate people seen that t-shirt and thought 'FUCK ME! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT T-SHIRT ALL MY LIFE EVEN THOUGH ACTUALLY I AM QUITE UGLY (BORDERING ON HIDEOUS) AND I LOVE THE EIGHTIES EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T AROUND THEN AND KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT BUT STILL SOMEHOW HAVE A HANKERING TO LOOK LIKE I'M STUPID IN THE EIGHTIES BUT ALSO LIKE A MODERN TELEVISION PROGRAM! EXCELLENT!' ?
But wait, two seconds thought and I realise why it exists:
Fashion goes in cycles, this is old news.
It all follows the unwritten law in fashion: You take the good bits from a decade (miniskirts - 60s...or twenties, whichever, flares - 70s) and you bring them out again to save you actually having to be creative in the way that your job specifies and you try to convince all your friends everyday 'Oh, I'm so "out there!" all the people I know say I'm sooo creative!'
Luckily for them this worked for the examples of the miniskirt and flares, because they were actually cool in the day and have a kind of classic appeal. So then it's the turn of the eighties to be redone, but of course the people who are designing things now were only born in 1986 so actually have no clue what might be considered classic...so they watch an early episode of Grange Hill and LOOK! everyone's wearing Frankie Says Relax t-shirts! OOO! Neon green is in fashion! Terrible spiky electro patterns! Wow!
What they have  failed to realise is that even in the 80's all these fashions were widely regarded as being shit! In fact, the eighties is generally very famous for looking really shit! Never mind, though, lets plough on because, in the end, the people who are buying this balls weren't alive in the eighties either and so have no idea about it. They have no idea about it, but would still like to associate with what the eighties was like, because the mass fashion industry has told them that's what they should want to associate with and if they don't they won't be a real member of society...well, popular society.
So we move on...we've got the foul neon green, we've got the idiotic, 'frankie' font....now we just need to spruce it up. The avoidance of creativity gene kicks in once again so they turn to television.
"Hey, everybody likes Ugly Betty, right?"
"Yeah, everyone knows how she's ugly and it's funny and stuff (although it's the most obvious thing in the world that she's actually a very beautiful latin american actress with perfect teeth and beautiful hair, only they put glasses on her. How hideous!...Let's look into designing some glasses.) so let's print something like 'Frankie Says Ugly Betty'"
"Good idea, only "Ugly Betty" is a huge American owned idea and we can't afford to print the words 'ugly' and 'betty' adjacent to each other."
"Okay, well how about...Betty's ugly right? So why not tap into the second largest fashion susceptible market after teenager...GIRLS WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM! It can say ' I'm NOT Ugly...like...Ugly Betty...Betty."
"Fantastic! We're onto a winner here! All the girls will immediately spot the reference, (incidentally, let's hope the lawyers don't) and then they'll notice the eighties motif...maybe...It's possibly at the point that maybe they aren't even aware it's a copy. And then they'll read it properly and imagine that it's empowering or some bull like that! We score money!"
"Look at that, it's not even lunch time..."

AND IT WORKED!
THIS TRANSPARENT MARKETING INVENTED BY IDIOTS WORKS!
AND IT WORKED ON FIVE PEOPLE!
IN THE SAME DAY!
WITHIN THE SPACE OF FOUR HOURS!
AND THEY WERE UGLY IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY THAT BETTY ISN'T!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?!

I'm starting to think that top shop just exists in a divine act of persecution towards me.
If anyone needs me, I'll be in the Angry Dome.

August 24th, 2007

Good morning.
It's all been going a bit weird recently. As you know, me and Katie are off up to York soon (the date looks to be the 29th of September, which means that it's more than likely I'll be spending my birthday in an empty house. That's going to be a bit weird. I don't even know what I want yet. I keep seeing stuff and thinking,' oh, that would be cool...but I don't really NEED it.' which, I know, is really the opposite of what a birthday is about. I don't NEED anything!...Well, except for, like, food and shelter...but I have those already! And a centipede! I'm at a bit of a loss with it...) and we're really looking forward to it, more so now bits and pieces of information are starting to trickle through about it. But in a time where we're most definitely heading away from Aber, it seems I'm hearing about more and more people going back. There's Bryn going back, simply to live while he studies in Machynlleth, at CAT which is pretty cool; then there's my ex-housmate Matt who's going back to work there, actually at the university, and a couple of old friends from my English course too.
I understand the pull of the place, and I understand that people do often go back or stay behind after finishing Uni. I suppose what I find odd is that I've been trying to sever my ties there recently. It was particularly hard last year, I really missed Aber because I had quite a few friends who had taken a year out and gone back to do there third year. I went back about five times in total I think. I still felt a really strong attachment to the place, which I knew was because I felt like I was missing out on another year of relatively responsibility and worry free lifestyle.
When the year ended I assumed that I wouldn't feel like that any more; fewer friends would mean that there wouldn't be anyone to go back and see, making it easier to move up to York but it seems like people are still going to be there, two of my best friends, and yet again the feeling of missing out is starting to descend.
It feels childish, like when you were young and in bed and you could hear your parents laughing downstairs and you always really wanted to know just what they were laughing about.

This year being a fairly stressful (and eye-opening) one has made me need the safety and protection of institutionalised education once again.
In way I'll be getting some of it - me and Katie will be staying in University accommodation in York so that comforts me a little but it just seems like I'm being drawn further away from safety and familiarity.
It appears that this is what life is all about.

August 6th, 2007

Hurray for me!
I got a job doing casual work at Chester Librarianary (I might have mentioned before - it's where they keep the librarians).
This means, without a shadow of a doubt, that I rock and am better than lots of people. I am better than them because I won and they lost.
Now I can do some works and get some moneys.
Katie has news along a similar line but I will let her relate that to you herself.
To celebrate I will be getting drunk and watching Life on Mars followed by the Lynch insanity fest, INLAND EMPIRE (his caps, not mine) - so called because he likes the word 'inland' and he likes the word ' empire'. He's an odd fellow.

But hurray!


Oh, I just so happened to pass by the libraianary today to take some books back and I ended up taking out more than I returned. I will be slaking my thirst for Evelyn Waugh by reading Brideshead Revisited, I got the frighteningly accurate The Shape of Things to Come by H.G. Wells, a collection of H. P. Lovecraft mythos inspired stories including stories by Alan Moore and other fantastic writers, and finally The 2000AD series by Alan Moore Skizz.

Hurray!

August 1st, 2007

I read books

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Gir
Hello someone who's reading this. Welcome to the desert of the real maybe I don't know.

Just a bit of news to say that I had an interview at Chester library for the post of 'casual worker'. I think it means I go to work and just loaf about for a bit. That sounds right doesn't it? I think it went pretty well so you can all do whatever superstitious ritual you do to encourage good luck for others. Personally, I will be burrying a goose on a Thursday in a peat bog.

I've been doing some really good reading as well.
I read a collection of Italo Calvino stories called Cosmicomics and I've nearly finished Vile Bodies by Evelyn Waugh.
I like to have bursts of lots of reading and this particular time has been down to me and Katie turning off most of our electrical equipment for most of the time. We'd been finding ourselves watching too much TV and having the computer on all day and it was just getting a bit much. We still watch the good stuff like Heroes and Life on Mars but mostly the TV stays off. It's really great!
The thing is, when we turn the TV on it feels even more like I'm being assaulted with adverts. It used to be that adverts were very annoying but they would kind of blur into the background becoming an annoying kind of static. But now I seem to have resensitised myself. I can't stand watching them anymore. At all.

So there you have it.
Some things about me that you didn't know unless you're Katie, in which case you did.
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